Okay, today.....
play ball~ FINSH~!!

=.=lll








HuaLanLan


~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today... up to now, my heart ache. My palms are hurting from gripping my fist too hard. My eyes gets tearful from time to time. I keeped saying if only I didnt drop to 3A1, if only I fight against my fate. If only I continue to decieve myself that I still love yeeann. If only I never met you before. If only we didnt have that bonding camp in 2009. If only we could become strangers. Then, my heart wouldnt be hurting so much, so painful..

When I saw you go up to the room after reaching sch from ndp, I thought I'll juz wait a while b4 going up. And just when I thought I was ready, why did he have to come?? Is it fate? Why did I even go up there. If I didnt, I wouldnt have saw him closing the door behind him.. If only I didnt, my heart would be much better, thinking you'll just stay there alone a while before going home.. I have been trying to still be friends with him. Putting him first as my Senior, as a friend. As if nth happen, giving him a pathway to get closer to you.  I been bearing it in my heart, trying not to tell him I love you too and make your life hard, being sandwiched btw us. While I was on the way home just now, I blasted my music all the way back. I try to forget all those "torture" events from reappearing into my mind. I gripped and tried to hurt my palm in order to use the pain as a distraction. But all these painful event just keep appearing in my mind.. I try again to forgot the events while I bathed and end up crying and blaming myself. Girl, I cant live without you by my side. You may not be in my past; but girl, you will now be in my present and future onwards.

Have you read the letter?? I am waiting for you to write back.. Baby, I love you. <3